why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
