I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
