You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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