I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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