I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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