Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
