Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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