I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize