my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You can't special order awesome
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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