I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Randomize
