That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Shitshow foam night was such a success
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
