Who did Billy Mays play for?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
