I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
