you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
