Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
