he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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