I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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