A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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