She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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