And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
