do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
