I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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