Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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