i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
