So drunk its hurt
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize