nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.