I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
