This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Okay so I just had a really great idea