Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Small penises have feelings too.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
