I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
