ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
