The best revenge is premature balding
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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