he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
