His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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