I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
are you so shy because you have an std?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
How does it feel to date your dad?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
