I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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