I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I should be a condom model.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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