1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
