yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
