girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
