and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
