so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
