There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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