this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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