So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize