i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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