No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
