she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
