Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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