feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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