Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.