I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor