if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
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drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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