Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(661): View more from California

Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,

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(661): Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi, http://tfl.nu/04ch

Replies (35) Good night (1441) Bad night (2142)
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(407): View more from Florida

Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.

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(407): Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis. http://tfl.nu/knfk

Replies (14) Good night (4749) Bad night (645)
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(253): View more from Washington

My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?

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(253): My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable? http://tfl.nu/rdbs

Replies (13) Good night (2768) Bad night (769)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting

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(902): yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting http://tfl.nu/sy3h

Replies (2) Good night (722) Bad night (3324)
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(937): View more from Ohio

she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.

(1-937): View more from Ohio

it's love

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(937): she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat. (1-937): it's love http://tfl.nu/getj

Replies (16) Good night (4693) Bad night (801)
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(254): View more from Texas

oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.

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(254): oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all. http://tfl.nu/jllt

Replies (26) Good night (805) Bad night (3682)
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(509): View more from Washington

my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?

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(509): my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right? http://tfl.nu/pq1k

Replies (8) Good night (4115) Bad night (753)
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(802): View more from Vermont

I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.

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(802): I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends. http://tfl.nu/oh1c

Replies (10) Good night (4943) Bad night (962)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.

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(+44): He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning. http://tfl.nu/9kly

Replies (5) Good night (3954) Bad night (645)
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(419): View more from Ohio

laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.

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(419): laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma. http://tfl.nu/ccs9

Replies (7) Good night (3346) Bad night (785)
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(813): View more from Florida

his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.

(407): View more from Florida

yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.

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(813): his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call. (407): yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer. http://tfl.nu/agts

Replies (10) Good night (3049) Bad night (856)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles

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(847): I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles http://tfl.nu/eek8

Replies (9) Good night (1603) Bad night (547)
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(512): View more from Texas

i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.

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(512): i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem. http://tfl.nu/a4iw

Replies (11) Good night (828) Bad night (1784)
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(917): View more from New York City

When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork

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(917): When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork http://tfl.nu/bkbb

Replies (12) Good night (726) Bad night (528)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.

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(+44): I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze. http://tfl.nu/d2nt

Replies (5) Good night (1217) Bad night (405)

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