Texts From Last Night

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  (325): View more from Texas

  she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.

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  (325): she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it. http://tfl.nu/ygfd
  Replies (5) Good night (715) Bad night (3093)
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  (716): View more from New York

  All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.

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  (716): All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world. http://tfl.nu/xqix
  Replies (10) Good night (1061) Bad night (2161)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"

  (1-936): View more from Texas

  I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...

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  (936): you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while" (1-936): I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day... http://tfl.nu/1f15
  Replies (19) Good night (10255) Bad night (1046)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.

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  (678): You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works. http://tfl.nu/of7z
  Replies (14) Good night (1158) Bad night (5892)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.

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  (519): I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front. http://tfl.nu/mrrz
  Replies (12) Good night (4697) Bad night (1685)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  What do you think it is?

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.

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  (214): What do you think it is? (615): It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow. http://tfl.nu/3ng4
  Replies (12) Good night (5296) Bad night (1833)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.

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  (918): he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond. http://tfl.nu/174e
  Replies (4) Good night (1879) Bad night (1010)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.

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  (254): We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans. http://tfl.nu/t9r6
  Replies (5) Good night (910) Bad night (356)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that

  (972): View more from Texas

  How awkward

  (214): View more from Texas

  Yeah it's pretty fucked up

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  (214): They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that (972): How awkward (214): Yeah it's pretty fucked up http://tfl.nu/97bk
  Replies (6) Good night (694) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  "I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."

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  (585): "I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly." http://tfl.nu/7n5b
  Replies (1) Good night (659) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.

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  (305): I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up. http://tfl.nu/mcl9
  Replies (5) Good night (1063) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...

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  (716): So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans... http://tfl.nu/4fn7
  Replies (4) Good night (489) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.

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  (904): Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning. http://tfl.nu/p7rc
  Replies (1) Good night (379) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.

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  (267): took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious. http://tfl.nu/w436
  Replies (0) Good night (418) Bad night (191)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.

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  (815): I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home. http://tfl.nu/56vm
  Replies (1) Good night (323) Bad night (179)

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