my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
