chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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