don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
