I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
