I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
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I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
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This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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