I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
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I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
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I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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