I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
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i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
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He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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