He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
don't judge my taste in strippers
be right there i have to get my cape
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
