Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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