I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
People in love make me want to vomit
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
