i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
