I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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