Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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