Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
