he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
