If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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