Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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